Poker at the Olympics? No thanks!

Posted: Wednesday 31st December 2008 | 12:01

SOME ideas are stupid but inspired - the Eurovision Song Contest and Kellogg's Pop Tarts.

Others are inspired but stupid, the Sinclair C5 and Beagle Mars mission.

And some are just plain stupid.

Poker is making a bid for acceptance into the Olympic programme
STUPID IDEA: The International Olympic Committee are more likely to stay in a Travelodge than make poker an Olympic sport, argues James Toney

This week poker became the latest ‘sport' to - pardon the pun - show their hand and declare an ambition to be part of the Olympic programme.

Arguments about whether it is a sport aside - it's not and there's an end to it - this parlour game about a fantasy Olympic Games is becoming tedious.

The International Olympic Committee have agreed to consider seven sports for the two spots vacated when baseball and softball were dropped following the Beijing Games.

Squash, Rugby sevens, roller sports, karate and golf have all been given a chance to state their case, while both the dropped sports have been allowed to reapply for their place, which will be decided in Copenhagen next October.

If there is no place on the shortlist for a netball or Twenty20 cricket - two just causes for Olympic recognition - there is certainly no place for poker, snap, Gin Rummy, Top Trumps or any other card game.

Apparently poker - which does not have an international governing body and is not recognised by the IOC - has been buoyed by an internet campaign on Facebook.

It has - when last checked - 43 members, which is three less than the group set up to scientifically prove that the moon is really made of cheese. For reference, a similar Facebook campaign by netball has over 35,000 members.

One of the criticisms aimed at the inclusion of tennis in the Olympics, and golf's proposed bid, is that players prefer to win big money ranking tournaments to Olympic gold.

And if ever there was a ‘sport - note the continued use of the inverted commas - where money ruled, it's poker.

The winner of the World Series wins $9,152,414 (£6,334,074) - which roughly equates to the funding the entire British Modern Pentatlon team, four medals in the last three Olympics, will receive from UK Sport in the next Olympic cycle.

Ask 2008 champion Peter Eastgate what he'd rather win - a life-changing cheque with numerous noughts or Olympic gold.

Add into the equation the IOC's long-standing phobia about gambling and poker's bid for Olympic status is nothing more than a sad publicity stunt from one of the myriad of competing online gaming sites. The IOC more likely to elect to make the Ilford Travelodge their HQ hotel for 2012.

Poker fans claim millions play or watch on TV - although when it comes to interactive programming I'd rather waste a tenner on a premium rate call of heavy moaning to Kelli on Babecast.

They also claim it transcends both age and gender but somehow I can't see how an octogenarian Granny will, in the vision of IOC president Jacques Rogge, inspire the youth of the world.

This week one poker site named a Fantasy British team - which included Chorley's Jon Kalmar, a World Series finalist , and Stoke-on-Trent's Lucy Rokach, whose career winnings total nearly £1 million pounds and has been labeled the world's best woman player.

I can just imagine them all sitting around the pre-Games preparation camp, eyes hidden behind a pair of team issue Adidas shades, perfecting their best poker face with the assistance of a specialist facial muscle training coach.

And there won't be any pizza, cigars and tumblers of bourbon - these guys are athletes after all.

The British Olympic Association just better hope they win big - collecting the pot might be useful in paying down their £3 million overdraft.

JAMES TONEY