Exploding people, a dodgy roof and allegations of arson. Welcome to London 2012's Olympic velodrome
FOR a moment it appeared this weekend's track cycling test event couldn't have gone any worse for London 2012 organisers.
CELEBRATION: British fans celebrate after Victoria Pendleton and Jess Varnish win World Cup team sprint gold - setting a new world record in the process (British Cycling)
Having invested £105 million in what is universally being hailed as the world's best velodrome, it took just 6,000 excitable fans to - in the words of the official stadium announcer - 'blow the roof clean off'.
And that was just the qualifying for the women's team pursuit at a World Cup meeting.
Imagine what could happen in a final…at the Olympics? You just hope that Seb Coe and his crew ordered strengthened foundations and bribed health and safety with a pair of tickets to the 100m final or an access all areas accreditation for the beach volleyball.
Then, as Britain scampered to two golds and two world records on the track's opening finals night, the man with the microphone reported, breathlessly, that people were 'literally bursting with pride'.
Danny Boyle was fuming, people 'bursting with pride' was going to be a spectacular show stopper for his opening ceremony.
A quick call to St John's Ambulance thankfully revealed no fatalities, although someone had reportedly choked on a peanut, underlining the dangers of enjoying bar snacks of any kind while watching Victoria Pendleton.
But even worse news followed on Saturday morning. The Times, our very own paper of record, splashed a headline on their front page that British cyclists had 'set the velodrome alight.'
How's that for gratitude? You lavish them with lottery funding and build them a gleaming new facility with the fastest track in the world and they repay you by becoming a bunch of unruly pyromaniacs .
The mind was racing as to who struck the match - Wendy Houvenhaghel was obviously the first suspect - although thankfully the report proved a little inaccurate.
So far the Olympic test events have failed to really capture the imagination - basketball could have been brilliant but for the decision to sell just a third of the arena's 12,000 capacity.
But a packed velodrome has given a real glimpse of what lies ahead this summer. This venue could have sold out ten times over and for many of the sport's loyal supporters, who didn't get Games tickets, this was their London 2012 experience.
There are still many questions unanswered for British cycling - Hoy or Kenny, how does four become three for the women's team pursuit, who rides the omnium, who understands the omnium - but what is not in doubt is just how fervent home fans will be.
But a just little less noise please, otherwise the Legacy Company will have to rebuild all these shiny new venues from ashes and rubble.
And remember to peak with your pride, in exactly 23 Saturdays Mark Cavendish will be riding the men's road race - then is the time to really burst.
© Sportsbeat 2011
MORE COLUMNS BY SPORTSBEAT'S JAMES TONEY