Gender equality Olympics a far cry from ancient times
IF things keep going like this there'll be a bonfire of blazing sports bras before long and this year's Epsom Derby will be nothing short of a bloodbath.
HEAVE-HO: Legend has it Hercules created the Olympic Games
Over the past week we've seen Olympics minister Tessa ‘Joan of Arc' Jowell clamouring for gender equality at London 2012.
Model-turned-boxer Sarah Blewden has gone public in her dismay at being banned from competitive bouts by the ABA because of her breast implants.
The boxing world governing body, AIBA, is desperate to see sporting spectacles (pictured below) such as Ursula Baskett throwing left and rights on the Olympic stage.
WINDING UP: Ursula Baskett unleashes a thumping left hook (Getty Images)
And the world's finest female ski jumpers will do their utmost to showcase their talents and enhance their sport's Olympic credentials in their first appearance at the World Nordic Skiing Championships.
Now there's no doubting that Jowell, in all likelihood did not enjoy the best of Valentine's Days - still smarting from the news of estranged husband David Mills' four-year prison sentence.
But there has to come a point where enough is enough. While I'm all for women competing in as many Olympic events as they want, unwarranted feminism is about as welcome in sport as a fart in a space suit.
Before anyone goes jumping in front of any horses, and before a breakaway women-only Olympics is formed, let us remember the true ethos of the Olympic Games.
The Ancient Olympic Games, which begun in 776 BC, were limited to those Alpha males, fluent in Greek and able to testify to ten months of training.
Starting out with just one race (a stadion) of somewhere between 180 to 240 metres, the finest specimens of the ancient world went head to head for the original Olympic glory.
And all this was done starkers - true Olympians.
The next event to be added was a 400m race before a 5km race was introduced, and the 800m - where the athletes were head to toe in armour - was added in 720 BC.
Women, provided they were not married, were allowed to watch but it was the men, in all their glory, who we have to thank for two-weeks of sporting greatness once every four years.
So before Jowell and Co orchestrate the 21st century suffragette movement a brief history lesson is in order I think.
Legend has it that Hercules - son of Zeus - fresh from his 12 labours, won a stadion at Olympia and heralded a four-yearly event.
If the female sex really want Olympic equality at London 2012, they can start by cleaning the Augean Stables.